Okay so even as I write this, I feel a little anxiety. I'm going to boldy go where I have never gone before...to talk about money. I feel like I have been such a slave to our dire financial situation. Yes Mike has a job and yes we're surviving...but barely. When I grew up we were broke and I mean really broke. My mom raised us on her own with help from my grandparents when we really needed it. I know how much my mom made and how much our rent was and I still don't know how my mom managed to pay any other bills or even feed us. However, because I grew up in such a struggle, I used to tell myself that I would always make good financial decisions so that my kids didn't have to see what I did...the desperation. Once I started working for myself I saved and saved and saved. I wasn't comfortable unless I had $1000 in my savings account at all times. Of course this was easy because I was making tips where I worked and my bills consisted of a $5 pager, car insurance, and lunch money (which was really $1/day because I ate a Twix or Snickers and a Dr Pepper everyday my whole senior year....yeah I know, real healthy). Anyways, I was able to enjoy making money, saving, and shopping without touching my little cushion. Well needless to say, we fast forward 10 years and this is really not the situation.
I think when it comes to big financial decisions, Mike and I do pretty well....its just all the little ones that are killing us. I feel like everyday I'm worrying about what's in our bank account, or how many days until payday, or are we going to make it without being overdrawn. Its a very tiring way to live. My husband on the other hand, lives in complete denial and ignorance. You know what they say...ignorance is bliss (don't miss understand, I'm not calling Mike ignorant, he just chooses to not worry about our finances). I really wish I could just ignore the bill collectors that are calling, or the bills that keep coming in, or the constant thought about what bills we are going to pay next week...but I just can't. I feel like I'm swimming in the desperation that I had to grow up in and it really stresses me out. Don't get me wrong, I'm okay not having a lot of money. But, I'm not okay making bad decisions just because we don't care anymore and so we choose to just dig ourselves a deeper hole. One day I may go back to work full time, which will help us financially, and I don't want us to have put ourselves in such a bad financial situation that we can't get out, even with more money.
I consider myself a fairly intelligent person, so why am I allowing these dumb decisions to be made? I'm weak...that's all I can say. Since I'm always the one saying NO to Mike, he knows he only has to push a little bit or play on my "well we're already bad off anyways" cord and I give in. I know God wants me to be stronger, I know I need to be stronger. I have no doubt that this is one of the reasons God has brought us together...you know matching strengths and weaknesses, so I need to do what I know God wants.
Well I have felt so stressed these last few months as I've felt this downward spiral happening...but it ends today. I'm hoping that as I write this down, I will stick to it and maybe since I've announced it all to you guys...I will feel more accountable. So I've come up with a little plan, yes I'm all about plans and lists...it makes me feel like I have a checklist, somewhere to start and a goal, a light at the end of my tunnel!
1. Stop saying sorry and make a change! I feel like, in all my prayers, I'm asking God to forgive me for allowing these bad decisions. God has blessed us with all we need, so we need to start using it the way he wants us to. We need to put our money to good uses that help us survive. We need to live within our means and not expect God to give us more.
2. Distinguish between needs and wants. We all have these, but I think we need to be more clear about spending just on our needs right now, until we get to a place where wants don't put a strain on our finances. We need to refocus ourselves, make more sacrifices, and just deal for the next couple of years.
3. Make a budget and stick to it. I've done this in the past, but like I said, I give in easily. I need to do this seriously, look at what we have coming in and how we can survive, smartly, and make my husband help me stick to this! This is a must...or nothing else matters....
4. Don't be afraid to say NO. I think I have an easier time at this that Mike. I know he would just shrug at me for saying this...but its like Sunday lunches. We go out almost every week, and if that was it it wouldn't be so bad. But we're always excepting dinner invitations or invitations to do things that we really don't have the money to do. We need to not be afraid to say we just can't afford to do it...again making good decisions for our family without worrying about what others might think. We can think of ways to do things cheaper and still enjoy our friendships without us straining financially, right?
5. Pay off unnecessary debt. Okay I'm not talking about our house or car, I understand those. But we have 1 credit card in particular that we need to pay off and just stop using. We need to start using the rule...if you can't afford it now, then you can't buy it...no more using credit when we don't even have the money to pay it later.
6. Stop eating out. I'm not saying always...I think making a goal, like once or twice a week, and sticking to it is reasonable. Its so much cheaper and healthier for all of us to eat at home...we just need to do it and not be lazy. I need to ask for help cooking when I'm too tired to do it...get Mike involved more. It seems if we do the "make a menu" plan, it seems to work well for us, so maybe we'll do that. I hate looking at the bank account and adding up all that we've spent on crap food...its very depressing and seems like such a waste of money.
7. Curb frivolous spending. This is a HUGE one. Mike and I both like to shop...and this isn't a bad thing...when you have the money. We just don't. We have plenty of everything...clothes, shoes, toys...so really why do we spend more money? What is possibly out there that we NEED? Probably nothing...its just a want...that digs us deeper into our whole. I refuse to keep digging...at least down, I'm ready to get out of this hole!!
Okay well I ask that you keep us in your prayers...keep my strength in your prayers, pray for us to make good decisions and take back control of our finances. I want to enjoy financial freedom!! I want to enjoy the light weight of my shoulders again without this burden always on my mind. I want my kids to not see us struggle for bad decisions we made that were preventable. I want God to know I'm doing everything I can to live how he would like. I want and need to learn to live within our means to survive. We will survive...we will make it....we are turning around....TODAY!!
me
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
This is hard for a majority of people I think. Trei and I are going through a life changing season right now because of Financial Peace University (I recommend finding one around you!) by Dave Ramsey. I hate to plug, but honestly, we are being checked in so many areas of our life - and we know we owe it to our kids to be smart and raise them in a secure environment....one without financial chaos. Hang in there, and know I'm praying for your family - because I know first hand what you are going through!
Becky, you are not alone! No matter how well we do financially, poor financial decisions are always lurking at the door and have the ability to take down even the wealthiest of people. I'm proud of you for taking a stand to get yourself and your family back on track! That's a huge first step, like you said! I love talking about finances and holding each other accountable, so please feel free to vent/talk to me about it anytime!
Becky: We know exactly how you guys feel! Company in your misery doesn't make it any better, but it does help to battle it. I don't know if this is the place for "advice," but this is what we have had to recently do. We pretty much froze our credit cards. Yes, we still have them, but are not "allowed" to use them. It is debit card only, and if the money is not there, too bad! Another thing we did was to apply for another credit card that had a transfer balance deal. Now the two cards that had balances on them are down to 0, and we don't use them. Then the one we transfered all the balances to for a small percent has no interest for a year, so we have that much time to pay it off. Good luck! I'd love to hear any other ideas that you have too.
Dave Ramsey has some really awesome advice and is not a softy when it comes to making tough decisions. We were given a book of his when we got married, and Jeremy and I have recently slacked off when it comes to the plan he recommends, but I know it works. It's called "The Total Money Makeover" and it's by Dave Ramsey. Great advice and wisdom from someone who has "been there." If you'd like to borrow it, let me know! And honestly, the best things in life ARE free, menu planning works and saying no does not make you a kill joy. Hug!
I'm with you beck!!! You're not the only one out there. I'm trying to cut back on my shopping too & it's hard but If anyone can do it you can!! Kepp your head up & stay strong
Becky I am right with you! Today is the first time that I read your blog but Juan and I were just talking about a plan today almost the same as your guys. We are going through a hard time right now because of Juan's job, it is just very slow. Just know that you are not the only one. I understand and it is hard but you will get through it. I will keep you guys in my prayer and put one in for us to.
Jen Torres
Post a Comment